Battles

I’m not everything you want me to be.  
It’s hard to keep up
I work, write, and  try to balance my life
Then I lose track of time
Erase e-mails of poetry
Finding it difficult to make time, to read others visions
But creating it to finish my last novel
A series
To complete a dream
Then start another.
My apologies
I wish I could be better
Always here for everyone
Even myself
When I am not.
~Angela K. Crandall~
©8/4/17

The Love inside

You inspire me
You are me
I’m in love with the oneness of me
It’s kind of, freaky arrogant the way I take in what I’ve become
Feeling like I am someone
Even if it is just for a few
I am grateful, Keep being productive, move forward
Don’t take for granted the gratitude, kindness, and hope given.
No, I’m not perfect
I only have faith that I will be better, am healthier than who I was before
Then raise my face to the sun, then run ahead ready to meet what comes next.
~Angela K. Crandall~
©2/27/17

Arising in frost

Bursts of chills spring up my spine
Every morning when I wake the cold makes my body ache
Warm covers I snuggle under more
Seeking dormancy, comfort, hibernating in this cocoon
Then the morning alarm clock rings, rings, rings
Wake up, Wake up it, sings
Oh, if it were only real music, perhaps Madonna
I rouse myself from the safety of my sheets
Push on forward to meet the day
No more time for dreams this way
Even though the sun may not shine
I have to
Even in winter often a lonely time.
Angela K.Crandall
©1/8/16

An act of hope

I don’t wait. I hope and act.
I swim in the sand when there’s no water refusing to drown.
If I need to let go, I cry.
But I don’t let the tears bury me.
I release them so I can stand up.
I allow you in or shut you out depending on how you make me feel.
~Angela K. Crandall~©10/14/16

Dreams on paper

Lists of dreams scrawled on paper
Scattered toys of the past
Crayons that once drew pictures of kitty cat portraits
Midnight rains of the past
As sunshine, days played in the park
Creating art once held on refrigerators
Now, only to be once again caught up
In a wish written on paper
Words forming a story
Sharing a world, I’ve made appear
Like the dreams scrawled on paper.
by
Angela K. Crandall
©9/3/16

Owning me.

“I cannot be carved, by your hand. I take my tools back.
There are no demands that I will answer.
At this instant, I take minutes and hours multiplying them.
Even if it’s, only a wish.
I hold it up like a birthday candle and blow.
It disappears as I will.
One day.
So, for now, I take my minutes, hours and days holding them near for as long as I can.”
~Angela K. Crandall~
©8/12/16

What’s within

“And so I built walls because you choose to stick them up. I began to create my own. I’d rather stay in a world I shaped, than the one you doomed. My cage of words, creating stories. Can you take them from my head, as you took my heart from my soul? Each and every word is an action typed within breaths leaked from the pulse I continue to allow to beat. The only repercussion would be I could no longer tell my story. It’s why I go on. It’s my story. It’s all I have. I will not allow anyone else to hold the pen. At times for this, I suffer, we suffer, creating our worlds unlike any other. Now, I should sleep within. Again tomorrow I begin again. Faults, scars, alibis, misspelled words, and punctuation.”

-Angela K. Crandall©8/7/16 (Sweet dreams.)

Occupational freelance

 

I tell myself, stay strong, keep hope next to your heart.

And one day, maybe things will change.

People will see the light you’ve been shining for so long without being discovered.

One person, who can change your life will acknowledge, what you’ve done.

The closed doors will open.

If I’m lucky, I’ll leave behind what kept me from moving forward.

It’s why I work so assiduously, to gain mobility through creativity perfecting my dream.

~Angela K. Crandall~

©8/5/2016

Internal-guidance

“Emotions are a part of who I am. I’ve tried to shut them down, to be stone cold, to push off from those who often poke me with irritation, pain, or sentiments that stab my heart. It’s useless I can’t stop feeling even when I don’t know if what I feel is correct. Maybe it’s right to me, but not always correct in their opinion. I am in moments, unable to leave places I have felt, once a long time ago. Now and then they come back to me. Even unwanted sentiments linger, fade, and then when you least expect it. They erupt out of the canyon in my mind, where I once buried them deep in my soul.”
Angela K. Crandall
©7/17/16

Ways of Waves

The water stirs up emotions around me

Over me, and they are not cleansing

But reminders of where I’ve been, where

I am

My soul traveling in and out of the waves

As they roll me on new and old

Leaving me wondering if I can continue

Being bold.

~Angela K. Crandall~

©7/15/16