The only heart saved is your own.
Each time you pull back.
Knowing, it would only end in goodbye.
So we never say hello.
~Angela K. Crandall~
Filling up with unneeded things to replace what we cannot find. Is it wasteful? Useless? But it does make sense. An attempt, to fill a gap, an empty space, a void in life. It isn’t often it comes to a person without hard work. However, what happens when you’ve tried so adamantly, a hole is worn. As if, you’d kept that pair of sneakers on for months. Never taking them off, you continue to walk towards your destination. One never reached. Each time you stick out your hand to greet someone, embrace them, attempting to make contact you’re denied. When you’re not, it’s a passing by of acquaintances. It’s always, we should do coffee or let’s hang out sometime. Then time passes and nothing occurs. You yearn for new relationships of liberal knowledge. Friendships that cannot be overturned by differences. Still, those sneakers are wearing pretty thin. The souls shot like old skin. The paths I’ve chosen are unlike many. People turn their heads away. When they turn towards me, it’s in pity. When it’s not that, it’s for a need. I am there for you. I always am, I say. I’m not at all perfect. I am full of faults. When I thought I’d found a friend again, it was false. I used to think-most people were good. Now I am leery. Even now, I quickly open up. What’s wrong with me? How can I be so compassionate about others and their lives? Yet, when I am. I feel I’m in the wrong. Asking for someone to listen, to understand me. So it is easier not to upset the masses. I turn to those I have always known. Deep inside there’s a spark of hope. That I, will someday find a best friend again. One who lives close. For-there, are still a few who get me. They are just so far away. It seems impossible to connect. Facebook isn’t friendship, and I know people say don’t let distance get in the way but it does.-Angela K. Crandall©11/28/16