The dark side of me.

I keep writing
As if I’ll share my words with you
Then keep denying them
I hold them dearly inside
But I don’t keep secrets
I opened my book long ago
Reading from it waiting for a reaction
Satisfaction in, a me too
Nothing
Zilch
Then I closed my eyes waiting for grief to pass
To move beyond
But I never did
Stop searching for the social connections I lack
And that has driven me mad
Maybe manic
So I type, write, tell stories
Tales
Save Lives
In pages
Places I’ve created
Resurrected
Revived
And wonder how many other flashes from the past can I pick up
Bring them to life
Change the endings
By creating a beginning
That never was
As I recoil in the darkness
While they say, use
Happiness.

                                                   Angela K. Crandall

©9/16/18

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Visions of Life

When I want things I can’t have I close my eyes
Breath deep and exhale
Then count to ten.
I reach to the sky stretching my body as I would my mind.
Then let my arms fall to my sides.
I open myself up to what’s within and use it to write.
My imaginations-The life I couldn’t have
And I can re-invent it
Over and over again.
I can make it perfect, unlike reality
Or make it as imperfect and crazy as I like.
My fingertips, they hold-worlds within my mind.
Angela K. Crandall
©7/12/18

Afflicted

“What’s in my heart is what you hate.

 Freedom allows choices, the press to speak their mind.

Since January all I’ve felt is suffocation in the land of the free.

 Is brave, now pointing guns at those you disagree with and blowing them away? Why is it right for some and wrong for others.

 Don’t speak of morals for they are being lost as each star falls.

 And they are not only journalists but all of us.”

-AKC ©6/28/18

Backward

I want to take your reflection and live in it
As you reside in the world
Of hope amongst other’s chaos
I see your light and want to touch it
Please share it, give it freely
For some of the dim seek the shine
as they sink into darkness…
~AKC~
©5/24/18

Mixed messages.

I want to lay myself down, relax and just be
But
Something inside me
Stops me
From being free
A wish to be more
then a girl lying on the floor
run down by life
I wanted to live no more.
Confronted by confusion
attempting a solution
as the sun sett, and the wind rose
blowing the willow trees against the sill
I gasped for breath amongst my tears spilling
Then I got up again.
~AKC~
©5/24/18

Distinguishing life

I trip on the road and look up to see a crow. He’s sitting in a tree just staring at me. Then he lets out a loud annoying caw as if I’m bothering him. A majestic creature overlooked every day sits there staring at me. I pull my hoodie up over my head to continue walking. It fly’s in front of me then settles on the tree to the left of me. I shrug my shoulders wondering what’s up with him. Maybe he’s having a bad day too.

~AKC~

©4/26/18

Wonders

Pop pop pop
Go your dreams
 letting the doubts
And
Fears burn brighter than the light inside  
Allowing those voices to get the best of you
Wondering what the critiques will be
How will they see what I choose to display
Perspectives of varying vices might make you fall
Are you willing to evolve past this?
Sing out your song
Let go
Carry on
And
Just be
As you are

Angela K. Crandall

©11/24/17

 

Splendor

I want to be here, in somewhere else

Not knowing

Existing

Moment by moment

In the second’s, others said I wasted

Relishing in each lazy haze

Where my completeness is your undoing.

Angela K. Crandall

©3/17/17