Vacant

There are no flowers here
A soft scent of empowerment
Nonviolent hope built up over the years
What will they say about us?
When we won the ability to be heard, speak out for women
Steps were taken to liberate us from the box
Picture perfect wives in starched aprons serving men in business suits unable to vote.
Doesn’t it scare you, What they, want to bring back?
Push passion outward! Maybe sign a few of those petitions you say are worthless
You’ve told me, they don’t mean a thing
Well, I’ve seen change
And
It’s coming again
The current
Packaging with tight ribbons
Is that all we are?
Don’t take for granted those who struggled so we could be liberated
To work, dream, become journalists, independent home owners or run a business
Stand up even if all you do is sign a paper or make a phone call.
It does matter.
Angela K. Crandall
©3/13/17

Love Expected

I’ll take you in, if you let me

Hollow out the parts, I need to change

If you show me how

Then again, maybe I shouldn’t

Allow another to make choices to bend to their will

However, why should they twist to mine

How do you fit two differences together in spite of the facts?

How do you replace a misplaced item when it is irreplaceable?

Personal emotional thoughts on a flag

That is where I stick them

Why do we seek approval

Love

Affection

What is it with this human need

If only love could be erased

It would end pain, hate, anger, and vengeance

For love while, beautiful creates all these things

We set aside, forget, let go of

Because of the beauty it brings

We step past the drama it displays

When things do not play out as we dreamed.

By

Angela K. Crandall

©11/8/15

Channels Changed

“Little things, little pieces try to fit, to measure up, to make it through without totally disappearing from view. In the distance, I can see what I should be, where I should be, but not who I want to be. That has changed, I’ve changed, and I continue my journey somehow. I write, on.”

-Angela K. Crandall ©10/13/15

Me

“I’m the girl who always tried to please others, who is trying to please herself.

I have made mistakes, faced my past, and am always looking for my future.

 Life feels like one big test in which you never know if you are winning or losing.”

~Angela K. Crandall~

©10/8/2015

Purpose

Past personal concepts have been flawed

The frosting on the cake licked clean of sweetness

Only the cake is left

It’s grown moldy

So I throw it out into the trash

What a waste, I think

Then come back into the room to fill the washer with laundry

As if

It is fulfilling a desperate need to push forth

No need to sort I just toss it all in and put it on warm

Grabbing my coffee to watch the sunrise

It is another chance to get it right

To be found or to find

Should it happen, I know not

Only of each day sought out in destiny, fate, or perchance time.

I never believed time worked things out as they say

Perhaps it will prove to me it does.

If not, what have I lost?

As long as I’m useful.

By

Angela K. Crandall

©10/3/15

Innate intrinsic cross-examination

The most difficult thing to comprehend
Is mending my own internal spirit
Wondering why I let you near it
Contemplating all the illusions I had
Interpretations of compilations
Come and go
Disturb my slumber
Things said dismantled in one day
Games you played
It’s so difficult to see
Leaves me questioning
Do I need your forgiveness?
Or
Should I just forgive me?
By
Angela K. Crandall
©9/21/15

Say Goodbye….

It’s as if I’m a witch on trial
Burning at the stake as you watch
Each mistake I made carved into my skin
I’ve given in, but they keep carving
No pain felt physically
Emotionally, I’m dying
I don’t grasp for breath
I want to end
To let my-self
Forever sleep
Warm, sweet, peaceful, so I never have to wake again
Nor,
Go to bed to play pretend
I am forever a suffering, in your web-I made
I’ll never know the truth
What I did wrong that day
Forever I sink into my soul
Not knowing, how to let go
As I let go
And
Drowned.
by
Angela K. Crandall
©9/21/15

Switching to sleep…

Allow me to rest, my head upon this pillow
Giving myself
The grace, I lost
Once entrusted
I sit down to pray my life away
Wondering if anyone is really listening
For it is dwindling
Lost
Fearful
Uneasy
With all that is before me, below, beneath, or above
Respite is for those, without thoughts.
by
Angela K. Crandall
©9/21/15

I no longer believe

Never lost, never found always

In-between I drowned in the lakes, rivers,

And  showers overcoming lonely hours

Fantasies fly out of my mind into my heart

Never really left to start.

I sit on the window sill again

Thinking about everything inside of me

Never let out

Into the air, into the earth

Lingering despair

Someone prove me wrong

Answer my prayers.

by

Angela K. Crandall

©9/17/15