Motivation is a fire that burns slowly rising out of the crevices in my soul. Lifting to the surface warming my skin, then I catch on fire. If I run, I might burn up. How do you put out the flame, once lit? When I do, will I stop forever? Perhaps I’ll just take a moment, to look at what I’ve created, outside this vast world belonging to no one.
Angela K. Crandall
“Emotions are a part of who I am. I’ve tried to shut them down, to be stone cold, to push off from those who often poke me with irritation, pain, or sentiments that stab my heart. It’s useless I can’t stop feeling even when I don’t know if what I feel is correct. Maybe it’s right to me, but not always correct in their opinion. I am in moments, unable to leave places I have felt, once a long time ago. Now and then they come back to me. Even unwanted sentiments linger, fade, and then when you least expect it. They erupt out of the canyon in my mind, where I once buried them deep in my soul.”
Angela K. Crandall
The water stirs up emotions around me
Over me, and they are not cleansing
But reminders of where I’ve been, where
My soul traveling in and out of the waves
As they roll me on new and old
Leaving me wondering if I can continue
~Angela K. Crandall~
“If nothing really mattered but love then love would be our work. We would get paid for taking care of each other, not commercialism, capitalism, and all of the reasons why they use us. We’d be used for good gain, not for more than what is needed. Nor would the tasks be those that drowned us in pain. If love was our work it would lift us up, but how can we love our work when it does not love us? When it instead enslaves us.”
-Angela K. Crandall
(And it’s not because we let it, we all need a roof, a bed, clothing, food, heat, and a way to get to work.)
If anyone can tell me how to be positive while I try to tread keeping my head above water as I cough up the crap that keeps coming in. It pours into me attempting to defeat my purpose. I plea to breathe again, for laughter to replace pain and emotional anguish. One person can not fulfill all your needs. Friends do matter.
It’s not wrong to love yourself. You have to push forward even when you feel condemned to uselessness. Discover how to be better. When all you want is sad poetry and wine. Music lingers in the background. She leans back on her sofa and then puts her feet up exhaling. Life is a road that will twist, turn, and sometimes lead you to dead ends. Let go, don’t stay there, sitting peering over the cliff. If you come down, then you can travel to all those places below. There are times you’ll have to fly above. It is important to breathe, sit back, and exhale. The answer is not to completely stop.
~Angela K. Crandall