Sub Zero or sub hero?

Everything I’m fighting for seems

So far away

The letters on the page

Hold significance

Work is written not in hours,

 In weeks,

Months planned awaiting something further

Then this

To be someone of importance

Not just a day job

Why did I struggle to go to college?

What did it pay for?

Only to make me question everything

Whilst I ponder those who accept it

Melt into it

Join it

As I pursue pushing it

They yield

claiming, I am compelled by madness

In my need to rise above the selected

Societal ladder made to climb, push, break,

To bend it til you crash!

I’m the mad women

The one they warn you of

Who needs beyond belief?

Whose words are seen or unseen?

As you shove them aside

I let them guide me 

 A river

Leading to my fate

A sharp rock in the water

Sitting patiently to be polished

Not just waiting either

Taking created goals

Maintaining them in spite of obstacles,

Setbacks, the life that gets in the way.

Even as I wonder if the drive will

Ever matter

Knowing that I must make it

Even if you manipulate me to believe

I’ll only fall

Now and forever

If my destiny is failure

I’m not allowed to give in

To demolish my faith

That it’s worth it.

Something I cannot see won’t let me.

Nothing seen

Like guilt in my gut

It lingers

Stretching through seconds

Clicking away

Each day

analyzed.

By

Angela K. Crandall

©5/25/15

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